Guest Post: Hi, My Name Is Brittni.
Brittni is pure sweetness. If there’s anyone who could be a real, live Southern Bell and get away with it, it’s her. In fact, I wrote her a great Disney story based around herself as said southern bell.. it was legit. Anyways..
She might be quiet, can rap like a boss and loves children, but she is also a humble force for Christ. Her missions life is changing right before her eyes and she wanted to share a small piece of her heart with you. She wrote this after she spent 2 months with PPM in Haiti this past summer as an intern and felt God was calling her to China. She has now completed her mission trip to China and God is working in her everyday to reveal His path for her future. Will you pray for her?
Brittni, thank you for your open heart and sharing how you feel without pre-tense. May we all trust in every situation, that the Lord guides our feet.
Some days I’m fine. I am a normal 20 year old girl who thinks of the homework I have for my Biology class, the desire I have for another tattoo, or what I should get at my favorite coffee shop to drink. It’s just another day of my life. Other days I cannot stop thinking of Haiti. I can’t go a minute without having the image of Israel holding my hand and teaching me Creole pop up into my head. I can’t focus on homework because all I want to do is cry because well, America is kinda selfish. All I want to do is be back in a place where I’m surrounded in ministries.
When the morning approached for me to leave what had been my home for the past 2 months, I had so many thoughts and emotions running through me. Bethany and Eric dropped me and my friend, Caroline, off at the airport. Saying good-bye to those amazing friends was just as hard as leaving Haiti. Flying over the beautiful Haitian mountains, as the plane ascended, all I could think of was, “When will God call me back? This place has taken a little bit of my heart and it kinda feels like my heart is breaking up with someone.”
Then I thought.. well, what if Haiti isn’t in my future anymore? What if He’s used me there for all the time He needed me there?
Recently, I’ve felt called to Asia to do a program called Christmas in China. When the thought occurred to go, my first reaction was, “What about Haiti?” I thought of it like me and Haiti were in a relationship. And I can’t cheat. I mean, Haiti is all I know missions-wise. Why do I feel the urge to go to China when I’m familiar with Haitian culture? Why would God send me somewhere I’m not familiar with or invested in?
My second reaction was to simply trust. Trust in the God who holds my thoughts and has my life plan in His hands. Clinging onto His hand as He guides me is the best place to be. Even if He’s walking me into unfamiliar territory.
See, what I’ve learned since being back from Haiti is the earth isn’t my home. I’ll always be longing to be somewhere where I have a huge sense of the presence of God. I’ll always be seeking, searching, navigating through life wondering where He wants me, where He’ll use me. Only He will truly satisfy me until I reach the moment I’ll be with him face-to-face in my forever home.
So God, I trust You. I trust in Your plans for me.